Why We Switched from Two Kids to DINK? [Sub]

One, two, three.

- Hanu Couple. - Hello.

Hello.

We are the Hanu Couple.

What's our topic for today?

Today's topic is?

From wanting two kids...

...to why we chose to be DINKs (Dual Income, No Kids).

We're going to explain it to you.

I think this is probably the question

that many of you are most curious about.

We've been married for 3 years now,

and we got married a bit quickly.

So we did.

Many people wondered, "Is it because they're having a baby?"

There were a lot of questions like that.

But it's been 3 years, haha, and we don't have kids.

Haha, so now...

...we decided to film this video.

That's right, it's already been 3 years.

It's been 3 years, and looking forward,

we still don't have plans for children.

So why that is,

we wanted to explain it.

I think many people might relate.

We had that thought,

so we decided to film this today.

Yes, so then,

why we made this choice,

starting with Olha,

please explain.

You always say, "starting with Olha," haha.

I'm not sure if this is Olha's YouTube channel

or your YouTube channel.

It's our YouTube channel.

Haha, this isn't my YouTube channel.

Then you have to do half and half.

It's always just me on screen, and you're not visible.

Okay.

First, I think when we...

...had just started seeing each other, back then,

before we were officially dating,

you...

...asked me to come to your place, saying you'd show me your cats.

That's how you lured me, right?

And I went to your place.

There really were cats, two of them.

There were two of them.

And that day, you...

...asked me when I wanted to get married.

And...

"How many kids do you want to have?"

you asked me.

What did Olha say back then?

Olha said she wanted to have two kids.

And you?

I said, "Because I don't have money..."

"...I think it would be difficult."

I said I had no intention of having kids.

I said that.

So we had that conversation.

But we...

...didn't fight about it or anything, we just...

...started dating.

And as some time passed,

you proposed,

but we...

...until then, about kids...

...we never brought it up once.

Right?

"Let's agree on it after we get married."

"What we're going to do?"

"Let's think about it after getting married."

We kept putting it off and off...

...and then we were married.

But I actually thought that if we...

...got married, we would have kids, too.

And when I talked with my mother-in-law back then,

I said we'd probably have about one child.

"We'll probably have one."

I said that.

But shortly after we got married,

my mother-in-law passed away.

And...

...a war broke out in Ukraine.

So it was very difficult.

Shortly after we started living together,

so many things happened.

So at that time, we didn't have the emotional space...

...to even think about kids.

And actually,

before, when it came to Koreans,

I really didn't understand why Koreans

didn't want to have children.

I thought Koreans were overthinking it.

I used to say things like that a lot.

Actually, if you have a child, you just...

...just need to add one more spoon, haha.

I had that kind of opinion.

In Ukraine,

I saw my friends raising children and it seemed...

...it didn't cost a lot of money

and it didn't seem that difficult.

But after marrying you

and living together,

ah, I started to understand a lot more

about why Koreans don't have children.

First of all,

it really does cost a lot of money.

We both work now,

but one of us, which would probably be me, haha,

would have to quit their job.

So our income would be cut almost in half.

But we...

...live in Seoul,

and honestly, even when we're just existing,

the expenses are so high.

That's not easy.

And what I used to think before,

about having to send them to hagwons (private academies),

for example,

I thought, "We just don't have to send them to hagwons."

"I didn't go to hagwons,"

"and I graduated from Hanyang University."

I thought something like that, but...

...after listening to what people say,

all the kids go to hagwons.

It would be too much to not send only our child.

Right, if the child says they want to go,

we have to send them.

And the child will probably want to go.

All their friends will be going to hagwons.

I guess so.

Art academies, things like that.

As parents, we can't just not send them.

And things like luxury brands,

you and I have absolutely no interest in luxury brands.

None at all.

But what if all their friends wear only luxury brands?

Then we'd want to dress our child in them too.

The baby?

Right.

From the child's perspective, if all their friends...

...are wearing things like North Face,

if their friends are wearing them,

then they'd ask us to buy it for them...

Right.

So,

if we were to raise a child in Korea now,

I thought, "Wow, that would be really tough."

With thoughts like these,

and since you and I...

...have lived so happily for 3 years,

I thought, maybe in the future, too,

it's right for just the two of us to live together.

Because of that thought,

my mind has changed a lot.

Olha's original thought was to have two children.

Because I'm an only child.

My mind has really changed a lot.

In my case,

I didn't really have any intention of having kids from the start.

But after marrying Olha,

and hearing things from my mom,

and my friends who are raising kids,

when I listen to them,

I've had the thought that maybe having one would be okay.

I have had thoughts like that.

But...

...even if we have one child, in the end,

the fact that it costs a lot of money,

I see that a lot around me.

It's not that we're poor,

but the freedom we can enjoy now...

...would largely disappear.

Traveling abroad, too.

We currently go to...

...Europe twice a year.

We probably wouldn't be able to go even once, haha.

So, if we have a child, I'm confident I can do a good job.

I'm confident I can raise them well.

It feels a bit new...

...hearing you say this.

I'm confident I can raise them well, but...

...the thought itself that I must have a child...

...and raise them...

...isn't that strong for me.

So I talked with Olha,

but we haven't reached a final agreement yet.

It's not like we've decided, "Let's never have kids for our entire lives,"

we haven't said that, but...

...after living together for about 3 years,

it's good enough now.

"The future will take care of itself" is kind of how we're...

...living right now.

When I hear from people around me,

I have two older sisters,

and I have about four nieces and nephews.

When I listen to my sisters,

it's true that the happiness a child brings is very big.

However,

because of having a child,

you have to give up a lot of things.

And...

...you have to do a lot for them.

So there's that kind of pressure.

And there are still so many things I want to do.

I feel like I don't yet have the courage...

...to give everything to a child.

The things I wanted to give to a child,

the things I wanted to do for them,

I'm doing all of that for my nieces and nephews now.

On my nieces' and nephews' birthdays,

or on Lunar New Year or Christmas,

to my nieces and nephews,

I'm kind of satisfying that desire by giving them gifts.

But I hear this a lot from people around us...

"If you marry Olha and...

...have a child that looks like Olha,"

"whether it's a boy or a girl, they would be so beautiful."

I hear that a lot.

I agree with that,

but for now, I'm happy living without kids.

For the time being, no, even in the future,

I think it will be that way.

But there is one thing that weighs on my mind.

My mom...

Yeah, haha.

...she's hoping for it.

On her birthday,

when I ask her if there's anything she wants,

she always says, "A baby," haha.

"I want a baby," haha.

She says things like that.

The problem is,

she's still working.

If she were to quit that job,

in my opinion,

I think it would be very hard for her.

So...

...since my mother-in-law is no longer with us,

and my own mother lives very far away,

if we really decide to do it,

we'll have a very hard time.

If my mother-in-law were still here,

I think we really would have had a child.

If my mom were here, we might have considered it.

She would have helped a lot, and...

...my mother-in-law was a very, very active person.

We probably could have gotten a lot of help.

I think that,

but since we don't even have my mom here,

definitely,

the thought of having a child lessens.

Right. There's no one around us...

...who says things like that.

In fact, my younger older sister basically...

...tells me not to have kids.

"It's hard, you guys do what you want."

My oldest sister has three kids, but...

Hahaha.

...she also talks a lot about how hard it is.

Of course, more than the hardship,

the happiness is many times greater, but...

...to handle that right now is a bit...

I have my thoughts.

Both of us, well, I...

...have some ambition when it comes to work.

The Korean language academy that I run,

it can't function without me.

Everything would have to be put on hold, so...

...I think it wouldn't be easy.

And...

...I put a lot of effort into building it.

If I had to stop,

I think I would feel it's incredibly unfair.

But you,

for you to do all the childcare,

my income isn't that high.

Still, we both have to earn money...

Right.

...to maintain our standard of living.

Honestly, if the government...

...gave us even 3 million won a month,

Haha.

Or if you,

if you became a YouTuber with 2 million subscribers,

Haha.

we could try again, haha.

We would reconsider...

For now, we're still saving money

and preparing a lot for our retirement.

What if your stocks suddenly hit the jackpot?

We really don't have to work anymore?

We could consider it then.

If we got 10 million won a month...

...just falling from the sky.

Then...

...wouldn't we just travel more often?

We've already traveled everywhere.

Europe, the US, wherever.

The places we want to go?

We've been to them all!

We've finished the game!

Then we could consider it.

We could consider it more...

...comfortably than we can now.

But now, what we've realized is...

...why Korean people...

...don't have children.

Raising a child in Korea...

...is really not easy,

and it's a huge financial burden.

In Ukraine, a child kind of raises themselves.

The mother doesn't have to be that hands-on.

After school, they play at home on their own.

It's that kind of atmosphere, but here,

if you don't send your child to a hagwon,

they probably can't keep up,

the competition is so fierce.

Ah~~ it's not easy, haha.

So...

...I understood why people don't have children.

I thought about this issue too simply.

So now, I'm about 90% sure...

...that I won't have children.

But there's always a 1% chance open. (That's 10%, isn't it? Haha)

What if we win the lottery?

You never know when that could happen, haha.

We win the lottery? Or...

...your YouTube channel becomes a big success?

Then maybe...

...we would consider it then.

But as of now,

I think it would be very difficult.

We still need to save more money.

For now, it seems difficult.

And a little while ago,

we visited a friend in Busan.

Their baby is currently...

...9 months old, right?

Right, not even a year old.

But we stayed there with them for 3 days,

and it's really not easy.

Just for 3 days?

We couldn't sleep properly at all.

The baby kept waking up and crying.

The baby has its own routine.

Times to sleep, times to eat,

so we had to follow that, and it wasn't easy.

Then for sure,

it would be really difficult to work.

One of the parents,

if they have a child, thinks they must take care of them.

So financially, it would definitely become a bit...

...more difficult.

Because one of us would be earning less.

If Olha, per month,

stops working, haha...

...it would get very difficult.

Meow~~~...

Right, Suji, that's right.

And Suji is also against it.

She has an opinion that she wants to live as an only child (pet).

She has the desire to remain an only child (pet).

I have a thought about wanting to get a dog, but...

...we're also thinking a lot about it.

Living these days is really not easy.

Hearing my oldest sister talk,

she talks a lot about wanting to have a fourth child.

She says that a lot, haha.

It seems too hard for her to have a fourth,

and she says if we have a baby instead of her fourth,

she'll come to see it often.

Of course, the baby would be beautiful,

but realistically, for us,

it seems like a difficult thing.

The part about my mom not being here...

...feels very significant.

If we had relatives or someone nearby,

and if we could...

...ask for help,

it might have been okay, but...

...since the two of us have to do everything,

it's more frightening.

So for now,

we've decided to live happily and with some freedom, just the two of us.

That's what we decided.

If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

We could also adopt.

Later, if we really...

...feel like we want a child,

there are many ways to solve it.

The only thing holding us back is our parents?

Did you explain it to your mom?

That we're not having kids?

I did explain it.

But she doesn't give up.

My mom is Ukrainian,

and the idea of not having children is, really...

...it's like winning the lottery in Korea...

...but not claiming the money. That's what it's like.

She says having a child is a huge happiness,

and that if you're a family, a child is a must-have...

...presence, so she thinks that.

She seems to think, "Not now, but they'll have one later."

It seems that's what she's thinking.

I kind of hope she doesn't see this video, haha.

We have to persuade my mom well, haha.

So that's about where our thoughts are.

We still have time, and still...

...Olha is still young, haha.

It's just that I'm not young.

What we're talking about, we're already late anyway, haha.

So there's no need to rush, haha.

Since we're late.

I'm also approaching my 30s now.

Anyway, we're just talking about...

...our current situation.

We don't know what will happen in the future, but...

...we wanted to let you know about our current situation.

Later, if we happen to change our minds,

we'll just make this video private, haha.

And pretend it never happened, hahaha.

"We're having a baby!"

We might film something like that.

So, that's all for today.

We hope that many of you will share your opinions...

...in the comments section.

Are you living happily?

And for those who have had children...

...how hard is it to raise a child?

We hope you'll write about it.

If you leave a lot of comments,

we will reply to them!

So, this is it for us.

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Yes~ This was the Hanu Couple~

Thank you.